Mar 11, 2011

He leads me...

The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.

One benefit as we follow the Shepherd is He would do ALL things for us. As I and my family are about to face a new chapter in our Hanoian life, I can't help but get excited as to what would unfold as we obey Him.
I came across Psalm 23(again). I am astounded by the words MAKES, LEADS.
King David said He "MAKES" me lie down in green pastures. Immediately I imagined a picture of the Shepherd who exactly knows his pastureland, He knew where that greener patch is, He absolutely does because the earth and everything in it is His'. He has already surveyed the vastness of His kingdom and deliberately places His people to that particular place where abundance of everything not only material and finances are overflowing.
"LEADS" would mean I should not panic when my cup runs dry, I should not struggle when all there is for me to take is a handful of flour and a little jar of oil. I do not have to run around looking for resources, for income, for work, for money because He SHALL LEAD me to that place. If I know my Shepherd then I should not be anxious. If I keep myself still, trusting in His providence, believe deeply that He is God, then nothing in this world shall move me.

He Guides My Every Step

My current workplace is in a mess right now. The administration decided to cut down 80 percent of the benefits that expatriate teachers used to enjoy. They did that without consultation and we were just startled by it mid-contract. I am left with no choice but to think of moving on. Then this opportunity of applying at a newly opened international school came along. My family had prayed for this school to open for such a long time, 3-4 years ago I think. But my flesh is telling me not to because it would mean I have to be pulled out from my comfort zone again, my niche, a place where I feel I am needed most and appreciated for my "deeds". In one of my quite moments, the impression "God is a God of increase" came very strong. So then I had asked Him, is this where You are bringing the family to prove Your words of increase? If I get employed with that institution, my 2 girls can study for free with all the benefits on top of it. But again, we don't operate because of the benefits, we move because it is where He wants us to go. I am really in a dilemma right now. To yield to where He wants me to step in or just stay in my comfy place. To be honest, I am just scared to face the people of that school, having to go through the process again, interview, practice teaching and etc. Major cross roads again. One thing I know, He will guide my every step, if things get bigger for me to handle then He will prove Himself BIGGER on my behalf. :-)

Mar 8, 2011

my love language

It's been quite a while and I miss being here. :-) I've just re-assessed myself on the 5 Love Languages lately and thought that my strongest love language could have been altered over the years only to find out that it hasn't. I am still an acts of service speaker. Well, the reason for this post is to vent out what's been running in my head. I noticed that in my household, I am the one who gets the bulk of chores. I do have a house help but I don't fully trust her with things such as laundry and ironing. I still do all these sort of things which weighs me down. Fact is, last night I cried my heart out because I was overly tired and felt that nobody at home lends me a helping hand and felt sorry for my kids who gets the yelling and shouting from me. As I was pondering, I realized that I have become a tough mother to my girls because of the physical and mental stress that I get from work all day plus the home stuff. I am praying that I'd be able to understand more of this love language so I won't feel bad when people do not respond well to me.

My Verse for the Week

"Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, where you go."
Ecclesiastes 9:10

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